


Adventures of Young Ben Solo

by Shwtlee



Series: Adventures of young Ben Solo [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Absent mother, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Angry Ben solo, Boonta Eve Classics, Bullying, Canon Compliant, Chewbacca is great, Destruction of Luke Academy, Disappointing Father, Everyone loves Anakin Skywalker, F/M, Feels, Force Bond (Star Wars), Jedi Academy AU, Jedi Ben Solo, Mention of Anakin Skywalker, Millennium Falcon - Freeform, Mos Espa Grand Arena (Star Wars), Murderous uncle, Pod Racing (Star Wars), Pre Vader Reveal, Pre-Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Rating will change, Reylo - Freeform, Species of Star Wars, Tatooine, Vader reveal, implied reylo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2018-10-28 07:37:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10826754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shwtlee/pseuds/Shwtlee
Summary: The story focuses on young Ben Solo's life at the Jedi Academy. His internal struggle and search for an escape, while being haunted by the phantom of a young woman.Synopsis:“Is it true?” Ben finally asked as the door slid shut behind the droid.“Is Darth Vader your father?”“Ben-" Luke started and Ben could feel he wasn't going to give him a straight answer.“I need a kriffing answer, Luke!” Ben shouted taking a step back.“Yes. Vader was my father,” his uncle admitted.





	1. Podracing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Reylo Fandom](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Reylo+Fandom).



> Hey guy, it's me again!
> 
> Happy Star Wars Day! This was written as a tribute to May the Fourth but by the time this would be posted it would probably be revenge of the Fifth... So Happy Sith Day everyone!
> 
> This was written as a gift for the Reylo/Kylo Fandom. Because some anti from an insignificant ship told a fellow reylo that Podracing was "claimed" by "their ship", so we aren't "allowed" to write Pod Racing Au for Ben. SO that's exactly what I am going to do, put my Reylo hands all over pod racing.
> 
> Ben Solo snuck out of the academy in the dead of night to participate in the famous Boonta Eve Classics Podrace at the Mos Espa Grand Arena. What can we say he has too much Anakin (Vader) in him.

Ben looked around to see if anyone followed him. He pulled his hood up to cover his face as he pulled the gate of the academy shut with a flick of his wrist. He started walking down the sidewalk, sticking to the shadows and hiding his force presence.

 

Everyone in the academy was fast asleep; he had waited until the light of Master Luke’s quarters were turned off. He then jumped out of the window with the aid of the force, landing softly on the ground.

 

He took a sharp turn down the block and walked across the road to the other side once he reached the intersection. The streets were empty because of the late hours. He easily spotted the lone speeder parked down the street.  

 

Ben walked up to it and found a pair of pale yellow legs hanging from the side. Ben peeked in and saw the long body of a Tong male sprawled across the seat, snoring loudly.

 

Ben shook his head from under the hood and knocked on the metal body of the speeder to wake the sleeping Tong up.

 

“I didn’t do it! I swear I didn’t.” He jerked awake, shrieking and flailing his lanky arms around to fight off the invisible enemy.

 

“Be quiet, Lau!” Ben muttered urgently under his breath to stop his friend from drawing attention.

 

Lau Quadinaros stopped moving when his eyes fell on the hooded form of Ben Solo.

 

“Oh Ben, it’s you.”  He looked around nervously to see if anyone else was around.  “Sorry. I fell asleep.”

 

“No need to apologize buddy, I know it’s late.”  Ben hopped into the pod and buckled up. “Thanks for coming to get me.”

 

“Of course, anything for my friend. Besides, the race can’t start without one of it’s prime contestants.” He started up the speeder and they took off into the night.

 

Even though he wasn’t flying the thing, he still felt a sense of peace as the wind hit his face, his hood flying off his head and sweeping his hair back. Ben closed his eyes, letting the funny sensation that could only come from speed settle into his stomach. While it might make most people queasy, it made Ben feel alive.

 

Flying was one of the best things in life for Ben. Sadly, he didn’t get a chance to fly that often. Only for supply runs, once a month in the piece of junk freighter that his uncle use for the academy. It wasn’t anything like the Falcon.  He kept wondering why would anyone call a ship like Falcon a junker? They should really try and fly the piece of crap his uncle owns.

 

But Ben wouldn't complain though. He would fly whatever he could, that’s why he took care of the freighter.  He made the most of those few days he got for the supply run.  He relished it. That was his only escape, that and pod racing.

 

Ben was snapped out of his reverie when the speeder halted near the Mos Espa Grand Arena. The loud cheering of the gathered crowd could be heard from outside. It was even more intense for Ben as he could feel the force signature of thousands of sentient beings. Excitement in the air was heady and Ben breathed it all in.

 

He hopped down, Lau following closely behind and they headed towards the entrance. Ben pulled his cowl up, concealing his face once more.

 

“Did you know my grandfather once took part in a race here, along with your grandfather?” Lau informed from his side.

 

Ben turned his hooded head towards his friend, “Really? I know my grandfather used to race here.  He earned his freedom by winning the Boonta Eve. But I didn’t know the great Ben Quadinaros raced here.”

 

“Oh but he did.  He was cheated you see; another racer tampered with his pod and the power coupling malfunctioned and he couldn’t fly.”

 

He paused, he looked thoughtful for a moment, then continued, “But the same thing happened to Skywalker’s pod too, but he built that pod himself.  Other than being an excellent pilot, he was a good mechanic too.  He managed to fix the problem, took off, and ended up winning the race,” Lau said incredulously.

 

Ben smirked, “Yeah and he was only 10 years old at that time; my uncle told me.”

 

“My grandfather said he could have been a great podracer if he didn’t go off to become a Jedi Knight.” Lau walked ahead as they reached the entrance to the hangar.  He talked to the guards and gestured him to follow.

 

“You see my grandfather really admired yours. He told me when young Skywalker fixed the pod to win the race that inspired my grandfather to push ahead and do better. So when he faced off with his greatest rival, the notorious Dug pilot Sebulba, he invited your grandfather Anakin to that race as his guest.  He even signed a poster for him as a gift to show his appreciation.”

 

Ben listened to the story with interest. He had heard so much about the man, the great hero of the Clone Wars, from different sources even though he never met the guy.  He died years before he was born.

 

Ben always felt a connection with his grandfather; he felt like Anakin would have understood him and the conflict he had inside of him. His grandfather felt the pull to the dark too and he was a notorious rule breaker according to Luke’s old master, Kenobi.

 

Ben read his journals for his studies, and his namesake was rather fond of his young apprentice, even though he drove him crazy with his antics half the time. Despite that Kenobi loved him like a brother.

 

They reached the shade where the race pods were parked. Most of the racers were already there checking on their pods. You have to submit the pods for inspection before the race. It was one of the new rule of Boonta Eve Classics. The new administration, led by Lau’s family, made sure that the race was not hampered by pod tampering. Even though the Hutts still own the event, Rotta the Hutt, Jabba’s son, was a much better owner than his father.

 

Rotta was another person who was fond of Anakin and apparently owed him a blood debt as the Jedi Knight had once saved his life. _Hutts never forget a debt,_ Rotta once told Ben.

 

Ben followed Lau to the pod his friend had arranged for him. He funded for the pod so Ben could race and he offered half the winnings to Ben, but Ben refused, saying he was only in it for the flying. For the rush. Besides, what was he going to do with the money while he was stuck at the academy?

 

“Check if everything is okay?” Lau shot back over his shoulder. “I will go check on the damn Toydarian.”

 

Ben nodded, hands already running on the metal surface of the racer. It was light blue in color with black streaks running on the side. It was a BT560 Quadra-Podracer. But Ben wasn’t interested in the looks. He popped the hood open and started checking the mechanics.

 

Lau returned half hour later with Watto the Toydarian at his toe.

 

“Everything looks good?” Lau enquired.

 

Before Ben could say anything Watto jumped in.

 

“Of course everything is.  Right Benny?”

 

“Everything looks okay so far.  The parts are a little rusted but I’ll make do.”

 

Lau turned to the Toydarian and snapped, “I told you to get all the parts checked before the race, Watto. I didn’t pay you all that credit for rusted parts!”

 

Watto cowered under the Tong’s accusations, scrambling for an excuse.

 

Ben sighed, shutting the hood down. He inspected all four engines and they were good to go. He turned to his friend, really not in the mood for this before the race.

 

“It’s fine, Lau--” he was interrupted by the announcement. All pods were called forward to take position.

 

Fifteen minutes later Ben was strapped inside the pod, feeling the low hum of the engines calming his nerves.

 

_“We also have a legacy racer joining us today. Ben Solo, the Grandson of one of our legendary Podracing champions, Anakin Skywalker. He won the Boonta Eve Classics at the age of 10, our youngest winner in history. He finished the race in only 15 mins and 42 seconds. That’s not all folks, yes you heard it right, Solo, he is also the son of renowned pilot Han Solo, who made the Kessel Run in only 12 parsecs. The boy has all the makings of a great pilot, so put your hands together for Ben Solo folks.  Let’s see if he can live up to his legacy.”_

 

Ben shut his eyes, attempting to calm his breathing. It's like he could never outrun his family names. Wherever he went the names followed. People would never let him forget where he came from. Too many expectations on his shoulder.

 

His father wanted him to be a pilot, until he showed his force sensitivity, then he just totally withdrew from him. His mother tried to tame him and his force so he could be like her, a politician, until his powers grew and suppressing it lead to outbursts. Then he was dropped off on his Uncle’s doorstep to train as a Jedi. No one ever asked him what he wanted.

 

And the voice inside his head, that no one ever seems to take seriously, wants him to succumb to the dark. It said it would be easier; the pain and confusion will go away. He wouldn't feel like he was being torn apart anymore. But how could he believe that when he knew what the dark side could do to someone like him. History books were filled with stories of Jedi falling to the dark and bringing destruction. Ben would never want that.

 

He could feel his anxiety peaking, his mental barrier crumbling, Ben was coming apart at the seams. And with that, the shadow was creeping in through the cracks. No, he couldn’t let it happen. Not now, the race was about to start.

 

Ben squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his fist around the controls. He took a few calming breaths, trying to channel the force, letting the light in. Suddenly, bright hazel flashed behind his lids, soft pink lips pulled into a dazzling smile, showing straight pearly white teeth. Ben focused on the image. She was a phantom from the recurring dreams he’d been having as long as he could remember.

 

The image always seem to calm him down, even during his worst breakdowns. He focused on her, because he knew his phantom was a girl, years upon years in making. Piece by piece, her image came to him.

 

Slender body, wrapped in beige garb, wielding what seemed like a war staff with grace. She was fierce, she was a beauty to behold. And her light, her blinding light!  Ben felt like shielding himself from it sometimes, afraid of getting burned. She might cleanse his soul, driving his darkness away with her burning light.

 

Ben opened his eyes, feeling centered once more. He focused on the track.

 

The race started at the sound of the gong. Ben eased off the brakes and the pod soared forward, the cold wind cutting into his skin.  Tatooine was unusually cold at night. But Ben wasn’t bothered by it, his body was on fire. Adrenaline coursed through his veins. He wrapped the force around him like a blanket. Letting go of everything, he gave into the heady rush of flying.

 

He passed a couple of racers easily. Then dodging a Vulptereen racer, he took the fourth position behind the leader. They took a sharp turn that put Ben on the third position behind the leading two. _This is too easy_ , Ben pondered.

 

He could sense it wouldn't be smooth sailing for long. As the game progressed, the racers got desperate. He heard the announcer mentioning two of the racers collided in the back end causing a fire that was promptly extinguished.

 

Ben realized he had to be extra vigilant. From the corner of his eyes he spotted the racer beside him inching towards him. The Dug male racer was leering at him, and Ben had a bad feeling about it. The force alerted him seconds before their pods collided.  

 

The creature had tried to push him hard into the side of the arena to damage his pod. Ben pushed back, jerking the controller to his right. They collided hard once more before drifting apart.

 

Next time when the Dug came at him, he was ready.  Ben pressed onto his accelerator and fired up his third engine. As he soared ahead, without Ben’s pod cushioning the blow, the Dug crashed his pod on the side walls.

 

Ben took a steady breath after averting the immediate danger. He looked ahead and realized the little incident actually pushed him into the second spot, and after the next sharp turn he ended up passing the leader and taking up the first spot. Now his main focus would be keeping the lead.

 

He saw the previous leader gaining up on him. He kept a steady speed and pushed forward. Ben reached a point of absolute focus and every other sound fell away; it was just him and the engine roaring below, he was one with the force.

 

Then suddenly it happened. A flash of beige on his peripheral. It's like the time had stopped as he turned his head to the side, eyes focusing on the form appearing in front of him on the sidelines. Their eyes met, and Ben lost sight of everything else.

 

It’s the phantom from his nightmare...or  daydream. The apparition disappeared as soon as it appeared, leaving behind a haunted feeling, a longing in his chest.

 

Ben shook his head and looked up, only to find he was seconds away from crushing into the wall as another sharp turn loomed ahead of him. Ben barely averted the wall in time and successfully made the turn but the Xexto racer on the second spot zoomed past him to take the lead once again.

 

Ben could see the finish line up ahead and thankfully there were no turns in between. He decided to play his last card and fired up the fourth engine. That gave him enough boost to surpass the meager distance between him and the Xexto, and Ben was soon soaring through the finish line, gracefully landing his racer on the platform below.

 

He heard the crowd cheering and the announcer declared that he finished it in 15 minutes and 30 seconds, which was 12 seconds before Anakin Skywalker. The crowd cheered even more.

 

Ben wasn’t listening to any of that; he was searching through the crowd, spotting the location she appeared in, his phantom, but no one was there. Nothing was out of place. He felt his disappointment hitting him like a brick wall. His momentary lapse of focus almost cost him his life, but what he wouldn’t give to see her appear again one more time.

 

Ben was hauled in air by his friend and few other supporters. Then he was taken to Rotta, who vigorously shook his hand, congratulating him and asking him to join his party later on. Ben respectfully declined.

 

Then he sensed it, like it was there all along, his uncle’s force signature. He had purposefully hid it and chose to show himself right this moment. Ben turned to see Luke standing by the platform, when their eyes met, Luke turned around.

 

A cold dread passed down Ben’s spine. Oh, he was in big trouble.

 

* * *

 

   

 


	2. Junior Sabers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After catching Ben pod racing, Uncle Luke sends him away with his father, to attend the prestigious Junior Saber race and learn about the life of a racer from the professionals. Ben knows it's some kind of lesson Luke is trying to teach him. But spending a weekend with his estrange father sounds more like a punishment to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to continue this AU.
> 
> This story is set in 25 ABY 3 years before the events of Bloodline (novel), and Ben is 20 years old still in the jedi academy.

 

* * *

 

 

When he got back to the academy it was almost time for the first sun to rise. He snuck in even though he knew there was no point, Luke already knew he was out. But he was still discrete in case the others saw him. He didn’t want to encourage fellow padawans or the younglings. He could take care of himself out there but they would be vulnerable. They were always so shielded.

 

He stealthily walked across the compound and reached the padawan quarters. His room was on the upper landing. He would soon be initiated into a Jedi knight, one of the first, and he’d move out of this room. It was a bittersweet feeling because that room was the only home he knew. Well, the only stable one at least.

 

Ben leaped up letting the Force aid him and grabbed the ledge of his window, then heaved himself up, softly landing in his room. He took a moment to center himself. It was almost dawn but it was also the weekend and he could sleep in. But he doubted sleep will grace him with its presence now. Not with the adrenaline still coursing through his veins or the thought of the inevitable confrontation with his uncle.

 

Luke would call him up, he already knew Ben was back. But he was taking his time, and the more time he took the worse the penalty would be. So he decided to just forgo sleep and meditate. Maybe it will help him with the growing anticipation.

 

* * *

 

_ He was walking down a sand dune. He was wondering how did he get here? He never wandered off the path, and this place didn’t look like anywhere he had been before. From the heat and his shadow on the sand he figured it was mid day. _

 

_ Ben looked up at the suns and almost lost his mind along with his footing. He landed on his butt, his mouth falling open. Where was the red sun? This couldn’t be right. He rubbed his eyes and looked again, there was only one sun in the sky. _

 

_ He grabbed a fistful of sand and felt the texture. If he wasn’t mistaken the sand somehow felt smoother as well. Sand of Tatooine was coarser and more grainy in texture, this in comparison was rather smooth. Nothing made sense. Where the hell was he? As far as his eyes went there was sand and sand, no terrines.The atmosphere too was drier in comparison. _

 

_ Ben realized with a jolt he wasn’t on Tatooine anymore, he was someplace else. He didn’t know what to do. How did he get here? That was when he felt a felt something blunt poking the back of his shoulder. He jumped to his feet and looked back, hand reaching for his saber on his belt. And with a shock he realized, he didn’t have his saber with him. _

 

_ He followed the metal rod that was poking him to it’s source. There was a small and slender creature in light beige cloth sanding on a dune, assuming a defensive stance. It was a humanoid, albeit short, and had its head covered with a headscarf and had large handmade goggled covering its eyes. _

 

_ It jerked the rod, or staff, in front of him in a threatening manner and shouted something in an alien language that Ben didn’t understand. _

 

_ “I’m sorry,” He brushed his hand on his robes, “I don't understand you.” He enunciated the words slowly to make the creature understand. _

 

_ “Oh basic,” it said, and it was still pointing its weapon at him, but he could hear its voices muffled by the covers. “Who are you and what are you doing in my territory?” _

 

_ The voice sounded like a child and it had a weird accent, Ben couldn’t quite place. _

 

_ “I’ve no idea how I got here,” Ben answered truthfully. _

 

_ The creature, pulled the scarf covering its mouth and pushed the goggle up. A large pair of hazel eyes stared back at him. And a freckled face with upturned nose and chapped lips. The creature was a human child, but Ben couldn't tell if they were a boy or a girl. _

 

_ “Are you lost?” It’s a girl. This time Ben was certain. “Where are you from?” _

 

_ “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, kid.’ Ben said, with his hand on his waist, as he looked around. _

 

_ She arched a delicate eyebrow and gave him a skeptical look. “Try me?” _

 

_ Ben chuckled, “Tatooine. It’s another desert planet. I don’t know how I got here.” _

 

_ She finally lowered her staff and held it at her side, it was at least a foot longer than her. But she carried it with ease and conviction. _

 

_ “Did someone drop you here?” she asked with a sudden sadness in her tone that made Ben really look at her. He could feel sadness and understanding rolling off her. _

 

_ “I don’t know.” He replied and pause before asking. “Did someone drop you here?” _

 

_ There was sudden flash of anger and then she schooled her expression. She looked at him with curiosity that unnerved him a little, like she could see right through him. She pulled the scarf off her head. She had brown hair that she put up in three small buns. Ben gasped. _

 

_ “Have I seen you before?” She tilted her head to the side, “You seem very familiar.” _

 

_ Ben didn’t want to ponder that, because he was feeling the same way. The kid looked awfully familiar, like he’d seen her somewhere, but had forgotten. And the hair buns-- it was like ‘her’. He suddenly felt a pressure on the back of his eyes, like thinking about the topic was making his brain inflame. He fell on his knees clutching his head and heard someone calling his name, from a distance. _

 

_ “Ben!”  _

 

* * *

 

 

“BEN!”

 

His eyes snapped open and he found himself back in his room. He was sitting on the floor by his bed, meditating.  _ Did he fall asleep? And the girl… could it be? No she was just a child. _

 

“Ben. What’s the matter?” He looked up to find a his uncle staring at him with concern.

 

“Um.. No. I’m fine. I must have fallen asleep.” Ben said looking past his uncle at the figure standing by the door.

 

“Hey Kid.” Han Solo drawled from where he was reclining on the threshold.

 

“Dad. What are you doing here?” Ben asked getting up on his feet.

 

“I asked your dad to come by. What you did last night was reckless and dangerous. But I  thought you should talk to someone who can help you learn about the life of a racer. Your dad.”

 

“But-”

 

“Let me finish. If you are interested in racing Ben, I can’t tell you not to be. Not without sounding like a hypocrite. But if you want to race, you should learn about it, and do it in a safe environment. You dad runs races, he can show you how life as a racer is.” He gestured towards Han.

 

“Then if you like it you can choose to be one.”

 

“Uncle Luke, I want to be a Jedi.”

 

“And I want your absolute focus. You need to be committed to this, your mind can’t wander off and think about what ifs. So if you need to do this, you should. Han will take you away for the weekend. And when you come back, if you come back, I want your focus back to your training.”

 

He finished, and nodded to his brother in law and walked out of the room without a second glance at Ben.

 

* * *

 

It was weird to be back on the Falcon with his dad and Chewie. He didn't think it was a good idea to put him with his dad in a metal confinement but here he was. They jumped out of sublight to real space near the planet Theron. The Five Sabres tournament was held here every year cycle. They also organized the Junior Sabers. It was a version of the legendary race held for young racers.

 

Han Solo’s company was sponsoring a team. He was mentor to the young pilots of his team and they participated in this tournament every year. 

 

Ben didn’t know if it was the best place for him to consider a life as a racer. Who was he kidding? He never wanted to be one. He was just bored and wanted to have some fun. He  didn’t want to do what his father does for living. He wanted to be a Jedi Knight and teach others the ways in the force. He wanted to be a Jedi like his Uncle and his grandfather before him.

 

But Luke wanted to prove a point, and this might as well be a punishment. Spending a day with his father and his pilots. Growing up, the man always distanced himself from his son, especially since Ben started showing signs of Force sensitivity. He would tell his mother he would never understand Ben like Leia could. They had a connection that Han would never have. Ben overheard them when he was older. He even tried not to use his powers in front of his dad. But that still didn’t stop him from leaving or ignoring him.

 

There was a time when Ben would have loved to be the one his father mentored. He did get his first lesson on flying from the man, aboard the Falcon. But that was years ago. Since then, Ben had perfected his skill, no thanks to Han Solo. 

 

Ben used to think his father was not the type who knew how to handle a kid. That changed when he visited his workplace once with Uncle Luke few years ago.

 

Han Solo did know how to be a father figure to kids. The young pilots who were in his team, they worshipped the man. He was not just a mentor to them, but also a surrogate father. Han Solo knew how to be a father, just not to his own son.

 

Ben thought he was past those bitter sentiments. He was older and wiser now, had better grasp on his abilities and emotions. But being here was bringing back those hurtful memories.

 

When they finally reached the venue, Ben tried to distract himself. He tried to take in his surrounding. The whole place was thrumming with energy.

 

“The Crystal Cairn has completed the first three stages of the race.” Han told him excitedly about his team.

 

Ben tried to remember the stages, “That would be the Atmo Dash, Orbital Sprint and-”

 

“Lunar Relay.” Someone spoke from behind him. They turn around to find Greer Sonnel walking towards them. She was one of Han’s proteges, his star pupil.  _ And the kid he should have had, _ Ben thought bitterly. 

 

She was from the planet Pamarthe. Her people were primarily starship pilots and Greer was no different, she was a natural. Ben wouldn’t say he was jealous of the girl’s skill. He was afterall a Skywalker and a Solo, flying was in his blood. What he envied was his father’s affection towards her. Even his mother was fond of the pilot. This girl constantly reminded him that his parents preferred someone else over him. And her arrogance didn’t help either. Ben wouldn't say he disliked her, but he wasn’t fond of her either.

 

“That means the next stage would be Sublight Relay.” Ben said, ignoring the interruption and the interruptor.

 

Han rolled his eyes, “Yes, and Greer here is going to do it in a few hours. Maybe you should talk to her or see what she does to learn about a racer.”

 

Greer snorted. “He wants to be a racer? What happened to Jedi Training?”

 

“Nothing happened to Jedi training. This is a bad idea.” He turned to his father, “Let me just watch the race, and we can leave when you are done.” He turned around and walked to were Chewie was dabbling with a ship.

 

“Ben!” His father called after him. He ignored the man. It would just turn his mood south. He didn’t want to act out, he was not a kid anymore, but he’d rather just avoid situations that might anger him. Those emotions would only feed the dark inside him.

 

Unlike his father, he always liked spending time with his Uncle Chewie. The wookiee had a better understanding of Force sensitivity than Han. Probably because he’d been around for so long and had met quite a lot of Force users in his long life.

 

Chewie patted his head when he got closer and handed him a hydrospanner, and pointed at the issue he wanted him to check. Ben got to work. It was mindless and routine, it helped calm his nerves and soon he felt his anger dissipate.

 

After a while he felt Chewie nudging him with his shoulder. “ _ He is trying. He loves you very much. He just doesn’t know how show it.”  _ Chewie said in his dad’s defense.

 

“Well it’s a little too late, don’t you think?” Ben countered. Everyone said his father was rough around the edges but had a good heart. Ben wanted to believe that. Maybe he wasn’t the son he should have had. Ben blamed himself for his father’s absence. Even from his mother’s life. That was why when they sent him away, even though it hurt, he thought maybe now Han would come back and his mother wouldn’t have to be so lonely. Well that was a foolish dream. Ben didn’t understand Han Solo, and what he was really running away from.

 

_ “It’s never too late to make amends, kid.”  _ Chewie stated before he went back to his work.

 

It was mid afternoon when Chewie told Ben to go take a break. So he decided to explore the venue. 

 

Ben had donned nondescript clothing instead of his regular Jedi robes. He wasn’t here as a Padawan or Knight Initiate. So he wore simple black pants, a regular tunic and a leather jacket his mother gave him for his last birthday. 

 

But no matter how much he tried to blend in he would always stand out because of his height and features that were considered unusual and too big. When he was a teenager, he was constantly teased for his looks, big ears, and gangly limbs. Since then he grew into his form, and filled out. Even though he didn’t look that gangly anymore he still felt out of place in a crowd.

 

He was walking down a path with people going about their business, lost in his own thoughts when he noticed it. Back of someone’s head, a human girl, the hair color was different, but the style was the same. Ben started walking faster, navigating through the crowd, catching up with the girl. He was desperate. When he finally caught up with her, he tapped on her shoulder. The girl turned around, and so did her Torguta friend.

 

Ben was out of breath, he panted out, “I’m sorry to disturb you, but I need to ask you something.”

 

The girl looked startled, looked at her friend, then said, “Yes?”

 

“Your hairstyle, is it very common here?” Ben asked. He felt stupid but he needed to know.

 

“I’m not from around here, and I don’t know-- it’s something my mother picked up from her travels. I never saw anyone wearing hair like this though.” She said, looking at her friend who nodded in affirmation.

 

“Do you know what planet it was, that your mother was traveling?” Ben pressed on.

 

“Um… I’m not use, I think it was, Stewjon, or maybe it was Colstev. Sorry I’m just rambling, I don’t know she traveled a lot,” the girl said apologetically.

 

“It’s okay,” Ben nodded. They were nice enough to answer him, and he was grateful for that. “Thanks anyway.”

 

The girl smiled at him, so did her Torguta companion, he placed a hand on her back and they turned around and walked away. Ben stared after the couple, and sighed.

 

His brain was trying to put together the information he gathered about  _ his phantom _ so far. He knew Stewjon wasn’t a desert planet, he learned that in his studies. And the little girl from his lucid dream, she looked like  _ her.  _ But nothing made much sense. So Ben decided going back to the hanger.

 

When he arrived, there was some sort of commotion going on. He could feel the tension in the Force before he even saw the scenario that was being played out.

 

His father and Greer were standing by her ship and Chewie in a distance. His father had his hands up, he was trying to negotiate with the group that surrounded him. He was trying to talk his way out of something, like he always did when he messed up. But before Ben could hear what he was saying, the man in front of Han raised his blasted and shot.

 

Few things happen at the same time. The man missed his first shot and that gave his dad time to draw his own blaster and the others behind the man simultaneously started firing at his Dad and his pilot. Chewie also shot his blaster bow at the group. It was utter chaos and someone was bound to get hurt. Most likely his father.

 

But Ben raised his hand and gather the Force around him. He willed the bolts to freeze in midair. And every single one of the blaster bolt froze in their path. Even Chewie’s bowcaster bolt. His father was terribly outnumbered and outgunned, and he had to intervene, Ben reasoned.

 

Everyone was shocked, looking at the frozen bolts and back at their blaster. They were about to shoot again and Ben pulled the blasters out of their hand with the Force and threw them against the wall before swiping the group off their feet.

 

Han turned and stared at him, and so did everyone else in the room. They all had horror in their eyes, and Ben looked back at his father and saw the same fear. Ben waved his hand and sent the projectiles to the direction of a durasteel wall that he knew could withstand the blow. That drew out more shrieks from the mercenary group.

 

“What kind of witchcraft this this. Solo, what in the name of stars?” The leader spoke first.

 

Ben turned to look at him and saw the man cower, slinking against the wall.

 

“Ben!” His father shouted. He looked at the man and saw the same fear, not for him. His father feared  _ him. _ Ben lowered his hand and was confused, Han looked mad now. But why? Ben just saved their collective asses.

 

He turned to Chewie and saw the wookiee shook his head as he lowered his own weapon.

 

“What?” Ben asked incredulously.

 

“Chewie take Ben, take the Falcon and get the hell out of here,” Han bellowed.

 

Chewie growled his response. Then grabbed Ben by the shoulder and dragging him away. Ben pulled away from him, and shouted at his father, “But why? I just saved your ass.”

 

Han gave him a disappointed look, “You know why.”

 

Ben felt Chewie pulling him by his jacket. Soon he was on board the Falcon, and flying back to the academy.  

 

* * *

Glossary:

[Junior Sabers](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Junior_Sabers)

[Five Sabers](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Five_Sabers)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter.


	3. Vader's Identity Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is it true?” Ben finally asked as the door slid shut behind the droid.
> 
> “Is Darth Vader your father?”
> 
> “Ben-" Luke started and Ben could feel he wasn't going to give him a straight answer.
> 
> “I need a kriffing answer, Luke!” Ben shouted taking a step back.
> 
> “Yes. Vader was my father,” his uncle admitted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man I've been wanting to write this chapter for so long. But ever since I saw Young Ben in TLJ I just couldn't wait. Poor baby.
> 
> Also great time to write canon compliant.
> 
> I do plan to continue it.
> 
> HUGE SHOUT OUT to my beta Nori. She got me through this chapter. She is a life saver.

* * *

 

It had been almost two years since the day Ben attended the Junior Saber in Theron. The day he saw fear and disappointment in his father's eyes. Ben always thought his father didn't like the fact that he was force sensitive. His mother would assure him it's not like that. But that day he became certain of the fact.

 

He wasn't the son Han Solo wanted. And he could never be that. Because it was not something that was in his control. He was born with the force. It's his family legacy. He was a Skywalker after all. His grandfather was Anakin Skywalker, force willed his birth. Of course his descendants would be strong with the force.

 

His father didn't even call or visit after that day. And Ben didn't go home to see his mother either. Chewie dropped by from time to time to deliver gifts or to take him out for a day or two.

 

If Ben was honest, he much preferred the wookie’s company than either of his parent's. His mother was even busier now. She didn't even have time to call.

 

Although she did send him a new calligraphy set. He did appreciate that. It became his favorite past time.

 

He heard Leia was running for the Chancellor position. Which only meant one thing to Ben. This mother would be even more busy. Well he was a grown man now, even though his uncle still treated him like a child, but he was an adult and a Jedi Knight. And he didn't need his mother anymore. Not that she was ever there for him anyway.

 

Ben knew he was being unnecessarily bitter about it all. Maybe not that unnecessary. They did abandon him. Washed their hands off his responsibilities. Dumping him on his uncle, who already was way over his head with the responsibility of rebuilding the Jedi order from scratch.

 

But his bitterness was never all his own and Ben was aware of it. The voice inside his head always kept telling him how his family didn't care about him much. They just wanted to get rid of him.

 

The voice had been there ever since he could remember. But recently it had gotten stronger. Ben could no longer shut it down or ignore it. So he had sort of given up on the fight. He'd just let the voice make its speech. He knew it wasn't normal. Maybe he was deranged. Ben found himself often times arguing with the voice and sometimes agreeing with the dark entity.

 

He could feel the dark rising in him, but it wasn't the dark entity. That was something from the outside. This felt close. It was within him. He could feel it when he fought. It balanced him. Guided him and helped him fight better. His felt the dark on the edges of his being. Surrounding the light.

 

When Luke sensed it during a training session he was furious. His uncle forbid him to use his darkside power. But Ben couldn't make him understand that he wasn't doing anything wrong. The fellow students too looked at him with disgust and pity.

 

But his dark shadow told him to ignore his uncle. The darkside made him stronger, a better fighter. Why should he not take advantage of that? And for a moment Ben saw logic in that. It told him if he embraced the dark it would give him power and influence. He could rule the galaxy. Right all the wrongs, make real changes. Changes that his mother could only dream of and her Senate made false promises about.

 

It was drawn to the dark inside him. It fed on it. It promised him the galaxy. And no matter how much Ben tried to ignore it, the dark entity only got stronger. What Ben didn't understand; he was born from the purest light in the galaxy. He came from heroes and the galaxy's hope. Why was he so drawn to the dark?

 

He never told anything about it to his uncle lest he kick him out of the academy for good. Then where would he go? He only ever thought of becoming a Jedi. If he was kicked out, Ben wouldn't have any purpose in life.

 

The only other thing that had grown as well were his sightings of his phantom. He even dreamt of her on regular basis now but as the little girl. He didn't know why the force was showing him all these. Sometimes he even questioned his sanity.

 

But the visions of her and the dreams were the only reprieve in his otherwise terrible life.

 

Ben was walking down the corridor to the dinner hall when one of the older students bumped his shoulder against him.

 

“Hey Solo, did you hear your populist mother is being nominated for the chancellor position.” The boy spat on his face, “Pray that she didn't become the counselor. Or your life here would get infinitely more difficult,” the boy finished and push past Ben.

 

Ben walked into the dinner hall just to be met with a huge holo projection of his mother's face.

 

Everyone was watching the live holocast of his mother's ceremony.

 

Ben contemplated on going back to his room and ask R2 to get him some food from the kitchen. But then he decided to be strong and hold his head high. He was just gonna ignore the fact that his mother was on the holonet.

 

Then something was said and the whole room became silent. Ben dragged is attention to the screen and the whole room was filled with the sweet melody of his childhood lullabies. 

 

Mirror Bright was playing on the Senate floor. Ben was confused as to why. Then he heard it all. 

 

And felt the whole room's eyes turned to him. But Ben kept his eyes peeled to the screen. His mother looked flustered. The blood was drained from her face. He was sure his face mirrored hers. 

 

Darth Vader? But they were Anakin Skywalker's children. Was it all a lie? Is this a lie? Was the centrist trying to discredit her before the election with made up stories. His family wouldn't have kept something as big as this from him.

 

“Is this true?” The guy from the corridor stood up and asked him. 

 

Ben felt like he was in a daze. This was too much. The voice inside his head whispered, making him jump. _ You are the heir of Vader. Embrace it. Don't shy away from it. _

 

The hair on the back of his neck was standing up in fear and repulsion. He felt like he was going to be sick.

 

That's when he sensed something flying in his trajectory. Snapping out of his stupor, Ben raised his hand and stopped the metal tray from almost hitting his head.

 

“I always wondered why was he so powerful. He clearly uses the darkside.” Another student chimed in.

 

“It must be true. His mother didn't deny it.”

 

“Vader killed my grandparents.”

 

“He killed my father.”

 

“My whole planet is in ruins because of Empire.”

 

“He was the emperor's enforcer.”

 

They all started talking at the same time. Ben clutched his head. It was too much. He could feel the hostility they were projecting. It was grating against his raw nerves.

 

“What if Skywalker is in on it?”

 

“Yeah! Do you think we are just bantha for slaughter?”

 

They were panicking now. Ben needed to get out of there. He took a step back towards the door.

 

“He is trying to run!”

 

“Stop him!”

 

Ben felt his anxiety kick in. He could feel the edge of a panic attack rearing its ugly head.

 

One of the Knights who got initiated at the same time as he suddenly ignited his saber. And seeing him, a few others did the same.

 

They were all taking an attacking stance and started to surround him.

 

Ben was full on panicking now. The voice inside him suddenly shouted at him.  _ Stop being a coward, boy. Are you going to let them kill you? _

 

“No!” Ben gritted under his breath. He could only feel hostility from them. And the darkside was swirling about the room. They intended to kill him. His dark guide was telling him the truth. And he knew it.

 

Ben felt it then. A tingling against his fingers. And he felt the veins in his arms shrinking. His nerves were alight and soon he felt sparks against his fingers.

 

That just escalated it even further. One of the students screamed and charged towards him only to get flung away. His lightsaber snatched out of his hand as he landed on some cushion in the corner.

 

“Enough!” Luke Skywalker thundered from the entrance of the hall. R2 was beside him. 

 

Luke's eyes were trained at Ben but he didn't look away.

 

“Everyone back to your respective rooms,” Luke ordered.

 

No one moved for a second.

 

“Do I have to make you?” Luke added dangerously.

 

And everyone started to clear out the room.

 

When the room was empty, Luke asked R2 to follow them to make sure everyone was in their bed right away.

 

R2 beeped at Luke and rolled away to carry out his master's orders.

“Is it true?” Ben finally asked as the door slid shut behind the droid. 

 

“Is Darth Vader your father?”

 

“Ben-" Luke started and Ben could feel he wasn't going to give him a straight answer.

 

“I need a kriffing answer, Luke!” Ben shouted taking a step forward.

 

“Yes. Vader was my father,” his uncle admitted.

 

And Ben didn't know what he was expecting-- denial or more lies, but it wasn't admittance. That was for sure.

 

“Did my mother know this?” 

 

“Yes,” Luke answered in a grim voice.

 

“And she didn't trust me enough to tell me such a crucial detail of my own origin?” Ben screamed at his face.

 

“Vader doesn't define us. Our choices define us.” Luke reached out to him but Ben stepped back.

 

“All these years I have been struggling with the dark side. Thinking there was something wrong with me. But it's been in my blood all along!” Ben said almost to himself.

 

“No Ben. Every force sensitive has dark inside them. It's arrogant to think it's because of your lineage,” Luke argued.

 

But Ben wasn't listening. Suddenly his whole life made sense to him. Like mother's fears, his uncle's reluctance, and his father's absence.

 

“Is this why my father hates me?” Ben asked. “Because he saw too much Vader in me?”

 

“Ben, it's not like that! You father loves you.” Luke tried to reason with him. But Ben wasn't in the mood to listen to him. 

 

He needed space. 

 

“Well, you didn't trust me with my own legacy. Don't bother making excuses now,” Ben said, pushing past him heading towards his hut. For the first time Ben was glad it was separated from the main building. The hostility he felt towards him was suffocating him.

 

Ben ran toward the hut, tears streaming down his face. He locked the door and walked towards his desk.

 

He wanted to know what his mother had to say about it. He expected at least a message sent explaining herself. There was none.

 

In his anger, Ben threw the com device against the wall. He hated her. He hated them all. They never loved him. Never wanted him. There was too much Vader in him. And they hated him for it. He was always unwanted. Damaged. And untrustworthy. No matter how much he tried he'd never be good enough for them.

 

Maybe his dark friend was right.

 

He really was Vader’s legacy.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst. Angst. Angst.
> 
> You know what follows. So buckle up 
> 
> And please let me know your thoughts in the comments section. Reviews really help.
> 
> See you next time.

**Author's Note:**

> Dun dun dun dun!
> 
> I know Rey wasn't there much. I'm sorry for that. But I can't bring her right now and disrupt the timeline, if I want to keep it as close to canon as possible. I've always wondered how Ben would be like during this time. And this is my rendition of Ben Solo Pre fall.
> 
> And phantom Rey is one of my most favorite head canons. Our brilliant Reylo metas theorizes Rey saw Ben/Kylo in a nightmare or a daydream. What if Ben Saw her too? And what if they were bonded in the force way before they even came face to face in Takodana?
> 
> Let me know if you like it, and if you have any headcanon's for Young Ben.
> 
> I might (or might not)continue the story, but it would be part of a series named Adventures of young Ben Solo. I'd suggest subscribing to the series if you wanna read more about my Ben. :)
> 
> Thanks again to my Beta @ns0241 and my wifey, [ReyloRobyn2011](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/pseuds/ReyloRobyn2011) for encouraging me to write this.
> 
> My Tumblr: [@Shwtlee4Reylo](http://shwtlee4reylo.tumblr.com/). Come say Hi!


End file.
